Here in the Highlands
Smoke hangs heavy on the hills around Ukarumpa. Locals burning the dry grass, partly to clear for planting, but also to get the attention of the spirits they worship, pleading in flames and embers for much-needed rain. Dust lays thick on everything, inside the house and out. It billows from the gravel roads, blurring the eyes and choking the lungs. There are whispers of drought. Water tanks are running dangerously low. People are borrowing jugs from neighbors who have some to spare, relying on kindness to be able to wash dishes, to cook, to quench thirst. The rainy season is coming, they say. It couldn’t be here soon enough. The hillsides burn on, a deadly and silent cry for help to spirits who neither hear nor care. And then it starts. One drop, two, twenty,...
Read MoreA Teacher’s Legacy
Time heals, they say. And it’s true, but there are some things that don’t fade over the years. Like the memory of someone’s laugh or the deep reservoirs carved by words spoken again and again. It’s been two years this weekend since my mom’s battle with cancer ended and she stepped, whole and healed, into eternity. Tears don’t come as frequently as they did for a while, but there are still days the ache to hear her voice is visceral and overwhelming. Sometimes I still reach for the phone without thinking to call and ask for a recipe or to tell her about something funny one of the kids did. Oh, how I wish Heaven had cell phone reception. She was only five feet tall, but my mom made a big impact on anyone she met. I love it when people know me as “Jo’s daughter”,...
Read MoreThat Look
We’ve had some beautiful summer days recently, and we’ve done some beautiful summer things. The other day, the girls and I joined the little one’s Sunday school class at a local park for playtime and popsicles, and then we ran by the drug store to pick up a prescription. The grocery store right across the parking lot carries good produce, so we stopped in to get some fruit for smoothies before heading next door to the new Lebanese bistro to split a shawarma wrap. Then it was home for naptime for Little Bit and mango banana shakes for the big girl and me. Our beautiful day was capped off by a picnic in the state park near our house. Reading back over the day’s events, I think, “That sounds perfect. Whose life is that anyway?” Because, in reality, our...
Read MoreBlessed
I sat this afternoon with a friend. This friend of mine, she’s sick. Her future is uncertain at best. We needed tissues, my friend and I. We talked about Heaven, about family, about dying. About God’s grace, portioned out day by day. We talked about flowers and her love for gardening and about music that heals the soul. We talked about faith and the long path it sometimes takes to get there. She held my hand, and we prayed like we were drowning, desperate and gasping for the presence of the God who brings peace. The way life goes, with its twists and turns, is not for the faint of heart. And perspective is never clearer than when we’re nearing the end of the road. The sky was bluer when I walked out her door. The laughter of my children made me want to freeze...
Read MoreDribbling Glory
Last week, a former student stayed with us. We’ve known her since she was a kid, so she knows a lot about us. But for five days she was privy to all that makes us a red-blooded, human family: our arguments, our chaos, our morning breath… Living side-by-side with people, seeing them in all their pre-coffee, bed headed glory, reveals new facets of their character. Letting others into private spaces where they can see the unfiltered us takes courage. It’s risky. The stakes are high. Having someone observe us day in and day out forces the “R” word out into the open. Reality. And reality is not always attractive. I am a broken, messy person, and the things in my soul are sometimes not very pretty. There are parts of me I would rather have nobody see. But...
Read MoreNomad
I was in the middle of writing an entirely different blog post, but something happened today that has completely sidetracked my thoughts. My aunt Patsy’s husband, my sweet uncle Don, graduated to Eternity. He’s one of the most joyful and gentle souls I’ve ever known. And while we’re so very happy for him that he is breathing the air of a place that is free of pain and heartache, we are left here to sort out the pieces. Shortly after my mom passed away in 2011, I went through a couple of months of depression. I’ve always written songs as a way of ordering my thoughts, so in that season’s deepest night, I wrote one called “Nomad”. Broken and aching and wounded and weary Falling and failing and fighting and torn Crawling on my knees to get where...
Read MoreLosing Control
Since I was a little girl, I’ve wanted to know how and why things happen. I like to understand what’s going on, to be able to predict an outcome, to have a certain amount of control over my world. Which is why I’ve had a hard time recently. For the last year and a half, I’ve been taking a medication to prevent the chronic migraines I’ve had since college. It helped for a time, but over the last few months, my migraines began to come back full force. Nothing I tried really made a difference, so after talking with my doctor, I decided to wean off the medication. The side effects of this medicine were difficult to deal with, even on the best days, so I was looking forward to having those chemicals out of my system. What I didn’t expect was how rough the weaning...
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