He Leads
He had a bush knife in one hand and a soda bottle full of water in the other. His flip flop clad, calloused brown feet never slipped once on the steep jungle path as he ambled along waiting for us to catch up. And there we were, a sunscreen-drenched, sweaty mess of a clumsy line, trudging along behind with our backpacks and hats and hiking shoes. We felt pretty good about ourselves, like a victorious herd of turtles, when we arrived weary and breathless back at our dorm. The reality is that our guide was easy on us. He grew up on the trails around here, and without him we would have been hopelessly lost. Jungle trails were part of my childhood, too, but my 38-year-old body has grown accustomed to cars and sofas and television. That hike was hard. And it was the...
Read MoreEmmanuel, the Unafraid God
They prayed for us at church this morning. We stood there under the spotlight and in front of the eyes, the missionary family ready to move to Papua New Guinea in just two weeks. And afterwards, as I hugged a good friend one last time and my throat burned thick with choked-back tears, a few kind people waited to tell us that we are brave, that they admire us. Maybe they hadn’t seen our youngest trying kick her sister while a church elder was praying blessing over us. Over our mess. Over our obedience. Because obedience is really what it is. Not special bravery. There’s nothing innately in us that qualifies us to be missionaries. The only difference between our story and theirs is that God has asked us to obey Him on the other side of the world. Life, just life in...
Read MoreWhen It’s Better to Receive Than to Give
“Are you afraid of losing your identity?” My counselor asked me this the other day. (I’ve been in counseling for the last few months. Shadows from the past and other nasty things have a way of surfacing during transition…) I didn’t quite know what she meant, so I sat quiet for a minute and turned her question over in my mind. “You’ve been in the role of caregiver for a long time. Maybe it’s time for you to be the receiver. Does that bother you?” Ouch. This woman is perceptive. She’s right. For the past fourteen and a half years, I’ve been the wife of a youth pastor, a mom, a Bible study teacher, a speaker, a safe place for hurting women and girls. And now I’m about to add overseas missionary to that list. No pressure there. I love what I’ve been doing. People...
Read MoreRight Now
Breakfast had to wait. She wore a tutu, and the song was perfect, she said. Her little legs stretched and stooped as she twirled wide, palms flung high. She knew this moment was one that needed to be celebrated, felt strong. My little one lives unafraid. I have a friend who lives this way, too. She feels things big and loves even bigger, and she never stops to think just how rare that is. It’s a beautiful thing to watch, and being on the receiving end of her 100 percent kind of love has changed me. This thing we’re doing, moving to the other side of the world in a month? It’s big. Huge. And the feelings that come with it stretch me until I feel like an over-filled balloon. Honestly, these emotions and their bigness scare me. It can be awfully tempting to...
Read MoreRisk and Cost
Risking it all for Jesus… I’ve heard this phrase tossed around in Christian circles. It sounds exciting. Bold. Holy. The problem is that it’s simply not true. I would even say it might be dangerous. “Risking it all” makes it sound like some of us are the spiritual high rollers, while everybody else is playing it safe in Heaven’s casino. You know, we give up our comforts and possessions to serve Jesus and someday earn a great big eternal crown. Some of us even leave our homes and everything we know to move to the other side of the world in a grand leap of faith. And people admire us, and our pictures hang on their church bulletin boards, and we sometimes make it into their pastors’ sermons. But eventually all of that praise falls flat. It doesn’t feel so...
Read More